Courtesy and Respect--Slipping in the Times of Technology?

"Social graces" are often ways to demonstrate respect for one another.  One aspect of social graces in business is to respect the person you are contacting.  Today I had the experience of receiving a voice message from someone asked to contact me because of a posting on the Internet.  The person leaving the voice message did leave an almost unintelligible telephone number and a first name--and nothing more.  I don't know what business he represents or any details of why someone asked him to call me.  In speaking, he was out of breath when he left the phone number and I've relistened to the voice mail four times and am only missing one number.  I should find that tomorrow morning.

To respect me, the person calling needs to tell me what business name they work with and the purpose of their call. 

What does it take to write and publish a book?

In 2001, a public relations firm in Chicago advised me that they could promote me easily if I published a book.  I've been working on ideas for one or more books since 2001 and still haven't put everything together.  Perhaps I am being too much of a perfectionist--waiting for "just the right" book.

Devotion: Focusing on What's Important and Letting Go of What's Not

My 94-year-old mother has a life-long habit that works very well.  She pays attention to what she focuses on and lets into her consciousness, chosing to focus on what's important and letting go of what isn't important.  We watch a lot of romantic comedies on Turner Classic Movies and skip lots of news programs and the horror and reality shows.  Mom enjoys National Geographic, The Smithsonian, Reader's Digest, and reads some articles in Time.  She had developed age-related macular degeneration in both eyes and we recently subscribed to the National Library Service and receives these magazines in an audio format.

Last Sunday, in a meeting with some friends focused on making a positive difference in the world and in our lives, the idea came up that it is sometimes good to go on a "media fast"--doing without news programs and focusing on what is really important in our lives.  I am reminded that "news" was originally the compass points--North, East, West, and South--and referred to collecting information from all points of the compass so that readers would be well informed--at least as far as the people writing the information were concerned.

With the Internet and the advent of social networking sites like Twitter, FaceBook, LinkedIn, and others. News can be more personal, immediate, and even intimate--family members keeping each other posted about where they are to meet.  We do not have to read all the e-mails we receive or newspapers or TV programs, etc. 

Another word surfaced on Sunday, the word "devotion."  One way to look at the word is to break it out.  "De" often comes from the Latin word de which means from.  "Vot" comes from votary which refers to choose toward something.  Devotion is often connected with a spiritual significance.  The ion turns the word into a noun--a person, place, or thing.  Devotion can mean to turn away from distraction and to turn toward something else--a positive focus and direction (often spiritually inspired).

Focusing on what is important is a form of devotion.  Letting go of that is not important is the letting go of distraction concept associated with devotion.

Choosing to Making a Positive Difference

How and when can we choose to make a positive difference?  Part of this depends on understanding what needs to change and knowing what to change to.  The circle of concern has a role in this decision.  We can choose to make a positive difference in our circle of influence and our circle of control.  We need to move through the three phases of change--awareness, acceptance, and action (Slides 8 and 9)--before we can begin to take the action to bring about the change that will make a positive difference.

We have lots of freedom in our choices.  I have chosen to make a positive difference for clients and organizations I worked with as an organizational development and change management consultant.  More recently (on 9-11-2001), I decided to make a difference by being a classroom teacher for English language learners (ELLs). 

This year I am looking to make a positive difference in new ways--working with new clients and organizations and school systems.  In my earlier choices, I made lots of one-on-one differences.  Now it is more effective to make a difference by teaching others to duplicate these efforts.

In my volunteer work with the American Red Cross, I started as a water safety instructor, then became a first aid and CPR instructor.  After teaching classes for years, I became an instructor-trainer in each of those health and safety areas and eventually cross-trained in disaster services and became a leadership volunteer.  Many years later I made a positive difference with the American Red Cross by helping organize a "CPR-Sunday" event where volunteer instructors came together in facilities provided by the community and trained 800 people in CPR for free in one day.

Making a positive difference is habit forming and is a habit I thoroughly enjoy.

Families Keeping Up with the Speed of Technology

Today my 83-year-old cousin and his wife visited my 94-year-old mother in her retirement complex outside of Chicago.  Mom lives in a gated community and my cousin had not been in this area for more than seven years.  We spoke cell-phone to cell-phone to "guide them in" to the parking lot and up the stairs to Mom's apartment.  

They brought with them a scrapbook of my cousin-in-law's artwork spanning a 30-year career.  During our time together we spoke of an unpublished children's book that my cousin-in-law wrote and illustrated.  I am a registered electronic publisher even though I'm not presently publishing books.  They told me that they still have an electronic version of the book that we can probably bring up-to-date with technology, then submit for electronic publishing.  It would be great to give the public access to a book that has been waiting for publication for more than 20 years.

When they left to drive to their home several hours away, they left an important piece of paper that had been in the scrapbook.  Within 30 minutes of their leaving--long before they will have realized that the piece of paper had been left behind--I had scanned the paper and sent it off to them via e-mail, including links to several of the things we had talked about during the visit.

They'll get the e-mail when they get home, have the links to follow-up on our conversation, and can print a new copy of the important paper before they miss a beat.

The good news is that my 83-year-old cousin is active on e-mail and is staying up with all the technology.  That certainly makes communication at the speed of technology much more achievable.

Facebook is the social networking site used by many of my family members.  It's another way for us to keep in touch.

Networks and Priorities and Exceptions to Rules

Each of us has a system we use, consciously or unconsciously, to determine our priorities and choices--for our time, attention, value, commitment, money, and more.

I had a call this morning from a friend who knew someone who had had a family tragedy and needed some help.  During the course of that conversation, I became aware of some of the processes I use to determine those priorities and to make exceptions.  It is a normal priority for me to extend what support I can to friends who ask.  When a friend asks on behalf of another friend, I extend my priorities and exceptions to the friend-of-my-friend.

I've offered my support and don't know whether or not I'll be called upon to follow-through.  The experience has already lead to a "snap-shot-awareness" of how I work my processes for priorities and exceptions.  That's a good thing to know.

Any one of us could have a family emergency or tragedy without warning.  It's nice to have friends to connect to and to have those friends connect to people they know.  LinkedIn talks about networks and degrees of networks.   In my network, I have 55 friends;  2 degrees away (friends of friends) I can connect with their 7,600+ people; 3 degrees away (friends of friends of friends) I can connect with 747,800 people.  (Some of my family members are on FaceBook.

Want to join my network on LinkedIn?

Common Sense vs. Common Practice (Revisited)

Common sense seems hard to come by.  Common practice, on the other hand, we live with every day.  The Democratic and Republican parties seem to be polarizing their views on public issues rather than to use common sense and honor the public trust they hold as elected officials. 

I received a call today from someone claiming to represent the Republican Party.  She asked if I thought of myself as a Republican, a Democrat, or an Independent.  Regardless of what party affiliation I may claim for an election, I usually think for myself and vote for the person or issue I feel is the best.  That makes me an Independent in terms of responding to the call.  As soon as the word came out of my mouth, the caller hung up.  (Not a bad thing, anyway.  I'll have to remember that trick for the future.)

Group think is a concept that began being used in the 1960s and 1970s.  Media coverage can help polarize ideas and encourage group think.  Another factor that seems to influence the process is bias towards or against the person or party promoting an idea, rather than using a filter of common sense to look at the idea itself.